pure snow pure heart ano hi
mou sukoshi no yuuki ga areba
samui kisetsu no seito
tobikonde iketa hazu
demo nazeka dekinakatta

pure snow pure heart kimi to
naitari shita koto mo kuyamanai
wakari kitta tsuyogari
kizuite kureru koto wo
itsu made mo matteru

- me, a name i call myself -

who? alana(lohalani) renee salom

when? may 31st

where? midcoast california

what? pinay (filipino), hawaiian, spanish

age? 20 (but I have the mentality of an 18 year old still)

job? officially, price spice or whatever the heck they want me to do @ office max. eww! nothing like that you pervert! *smack*

free time? making bad webpages, dj-ing badly, watching anime and/or movies, dee dee are, raves, chatting on irc/efnet and aim

form of caffeine? mountain dew, red bull + sobe power = taurcrack

v.i.p? my kirei, Val of course n.n

- currently obsessed... -

anime? love hina, gate keepers, trigun, digi charat

manga? love hina, angel sanctuary, flame of recca

movie? groove, human traffic, fantasia 2000

game? dance dance revolution (any mix), bust a move 2 - dance summit 2000, love hina dreamcast, jet grind radio

3d bishounen? takeshi kaneshiro, alex to, roy cheung

2d bishounen? aogiri yuuhi (ayashi no ceres), xelloss metallium (slayers next/try), shinomori aoshi (rurouni kenshin)

3d grrlz? natalie portman, helen hunt, meg ryan, kelly chen

2d grrlz? konno mitsune (love hina), kaolla suu (love hina), mad hatter (angel sanctuary)

djs? john digweed, ferry corsten, donald glaude, dave ralph

trance? heaven scent - bedrock, sandstorm - darude, 20 minutes of disco glory - dj garth, don't call me baby - madison avenue, drowning - cleveland lounge

other music? 12 volt sex, bowling for soup, no doubt, hamasaki ayumi, sakamoto maaya/kanno yoko

clothing? kik wear/girl, caffeine, old navy, hot topic, gap, mr. rags

coplay possibilities? kaolla suu (love hina), mad hatter (angel sanctuary), hikura kazuhi (megami kouhosei)

- other (in)sanities -

mayoi omoi - michi my oneesama who is usually subject to my whining/ranting

copacetic - emi ms. yaoi no miko herself

illegible scribbles - steph my partner in mahou shoujo obsession crime

nonsequitor thoughts - tanzy she has a real name...we chose to ignore it for the most part

basic black - puuie umm...look out, she bites?

ecchibi - kristi the snoozing lump on the floor in the yaoi room at acen

mental static - juri the famous photographer who captured the essence of the psycho bunny killer

thea - thea whose new place i still need to visit

ecchi pitas - yuuhi my favorite toy for h-gnawing

fudo muyo - dom one of the new additions to my 'must torture' list

- i want to get off this ride -

hinata sou




connection lost

easily distracted



fushigi yuugi


"Life is kinda like a snowglobe... Everything is fine and at peace inside of one... until some friggin' shmuck comes along and shakes it all up! ...but in the end, everything turns out to be even more beautiful than before..."
- hi-mi-tsu!

- archive -

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it is? monday 04022001 09:12pm :: i am? con'd x.x

another fanime come and gone. so many experiences. so many people. so little friggin' memory. x.x it's amazing how many things can happen in 3 days no? n.n finally met kyo for the first time. was a little anxious about that seeing as he's one of the exbf's and all but it went incredibly smooth. i dunno...i guess since i didn't really build this image of him in my mind, i wasn't sure what to really expect, thus i was neither disappointed or relieved? n.n; something like that. then there was val and robin meeting. oooooh big sigh of relief. i'm not exactly too sure how that went seeing as i kinda let that handle itself more or less...but there was no bloodshed or bad vibe of any type so i'm really happy. n.n yeah...there weren't any real big conflicts at the con that i can think of really. that's pretty damn good. true, we weren't the big usual glob of genki we used to be but we all got along at least. hell, even bran was bearable. n.n; overall, it was a great con experience even though the only con related thing i did was the dance. thanks for the great weekend all. in closing, whatever memories i can think of at the moment. n.n

* 'who are you dressed as?' 'zidane from final fantasy 9.' 'oh...i must not be that far in the game yet.' '.....'
* 'is it me...or does that food all look like ass?' *laugh* 'no seriously!' *shows grilled cheese sandwich* 'eeeeeeww!'
* the dude who gave me like 2-3 pairs of free glowsticks at fri dance o.o
* the 3+ people who kept asking to borrow my glowsticks/strings at sat dance
* giving myself a bruise with a glowstick x.x
* getting a massive amount of chicken for the bargain price of $12
* destroying a perfectly good towel to eat said chicken n.n;
* poorly glowstringing at the 5xl concert
* probably embarassing hank at the 5xl concert ('guy in black, we love you! sekushii! kyaa~ hank-sama~! subarashii desu wa~!)
* giving kyo taurcrack only to find out his eyes were dilated later XD (all your taurcrack are belong to us)
* spinning for the fanime crowd on sat n.n
* being requested to spin for a konami party after the dance *.*
* meeting sweetjemz, an ilr member, at the dance
* having some random asian guy ask us about the anime con during a random jaunt to ranch 99 o.o;
* looking on as both lucinda and val are perfectly happy under down covers and all while kevin and i are dying in the 70 something degree room x.x
* mmm...jet grind radio shirt. n.n j/k val
* '4! 3! 2! 1!' before peak in sandstorm

more later as memory comes back to me. o/~ oh blah di, oh blah da, life goes da da life goes on... o/~ n.n

ended at? monday 04022001 1057pm :: while? drinking citrus ass medicine. bleh. x.x

it is? wednesday 03142001 03:03am :: i am? an anime ho

hoeeeee~... i've been such an anime ho lately. i've gotten back into my habit of downloading 24 minute to hour and a half movies over my dinky 56K moden. n.n; i can't help i~t... i just got a new source to purge, and purge i must! ho ho ho~! that and it's easier to watch seeing as how i don't have my own tv/vcr/dvd set up anymore, and it's a pain to use the tv in the living room. ~.~ first, was the ah megumi-sama/oh my goddess movie, which i actually saw at foothill but i missed the first 45 minutes of that so i d/l'd it to 'catch up'. n.n; i rediscovered that morisato keiichi is still my 'ideal image of a guy'. = he's not super intelligent or strong...but he has a lot of heart, and despite his weaknesses, he fights on for the ones he loves. *sigh* then i finally got around to watching the taiho shichau zo/you're under arrest special oavs that mark gave me back at acen. n.n; i've always and still do like gunsmith cats over yua...but the mere fact that miyuki took the time to run to the car, start it up and hook up jump cables, while screaming bloody murder, to electricute a weird psycho fanboy...just fascinated me. XD one of these days, i'll have to sit down and try to watch the normal oavs again. n.n let's see...ah yes, then there was more inu yasha, subbed even! i dunno, ranma was entertainingly okay, lum i never really got into but inu yasha i find actually interesting. characters and story seem to have a little more depth than what i usually tend to expect from rumiko. oh lord...then there's ebichu.


i think that about covers that. n.n;; next would be eX-D/ex-driver, which i wasn't exactly sure what to expect but i figured it must have -some- type of action in it. i'm trying to stay away from the initial d craze for some reason but eX-D deals with racing techniques as well such as drifting. only seen 1 oav of that so far though so i'm gonna wait a while before i really form an opinion. n.n then ayashi no ceres. i admit, the main reason that kept me reading that story was the character aogiri yuuhi. he's damn seksay animated or in black and white manga. *.* lastly, the second card captor sakura movie, fuuin sareta card.


there aren't a whole bunch of anime that can constantly reduced me to a puddle of warm, fuzzy, pink, feel good goop...but the 2nd ccs movie sure did a good number on me. n.n; so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~te. *n.n* *sigh* kami-sama help me if i start to read ccs fics... uuu~... ~.~ oneesama, don't you dare contribute to that...samonaito... tsubusu. .

ended at? wednesday 03142001 03:50am :: while? watching the last scene of ccs2 movie again. *sniffsniff* so cu~te... ;.;

it is? monday 03052001 03:40am :: i am? lost teenagerhood

i've given something a thought lately... why am i so bent on clubbing/raving so often these days? personally, i think i'm a part of my teenage life i never really had. really. my brother would go out to clubs and concerts all the time. me? i'd either stay home or find a way to michi, eric, florian, other sf-gumi to play video games and watch anime, with the occasional movie. n.n; or i'd hang out with my dad. now i love the time i spent with the people above. i would -never- trade it for anything even though sometimes they weren't always smooth. but i always wondered y'know? i mean, i would -hear- my friends/ acquaintences at school talking about it sometimes and it was just a world i never knew. and i guess they took that as in i had no interest in it. which is half true, i hate the 'dress codes' for clubs around here. i don't want to dress like a effin' hoochie when all i really want to do is dance. which is a reason why i love raves so much. i have that freedom to do almost anything i want. just like in the movie groove, 'everybody here knows what's going to happen to you so feel free to do whatever you need to do.' now that may sound like bs but it really isn't. at least as far as i've seen. i don't know...i feel like i'm rambling now. i just know i've found something that i enjoy... a way that i can celebrate life. overdrive was really cool. a last minute decision to party our butts off. a couple of familiar faces from ilr were there and i spent from about 10-12 resting since i didn't sleep much the night before, then from 12 on, dancing and meeting people. it's amazing how easy it is to introduce yourself to someone there. you can accidentally just bump into them while dancing and it'll start a 5-15 minute conversation. it helped to spread the word of ilr a little. heh heh... but yeah, i had a good friday night. still a little sore though even now. n.n; i hope this next friday will be as good even though it's just a get together. n.n we shall see.

ended at? monday 03052001 04:17am :: while? listening to fantasia 2000 - firebird suite/stravinsky

it is? monday 02262001 06:08am :: i am? a vegetable o.o

so i drove up to san francisco, got lost of a while, but finally made it to virgin megastore and find decent parking by 4:05 when tiesto was supposed to start spinning at 4... this was all perfect except for the fact that...there was no tiesto spinning. there wasn't going to be a tiesto spinning at virgin because he was held up at customs crossing over from canda... ~.~ but the day or drive was not a total flop. i got to show some of the ilr people what playing ddr freestyle looks like at metreon. fuckin' $2/3songs. on usa mix too. rape me now why don't you? after that, about half of the group bounce since tiesto nor his replacement st. john look like they're gonna show. i decide to stick around and have pho with a group of ilr girls that i didn't know well and the night went uphill. they seemed bent on making my trip up there worthwhile and i really appreciate it. they even streaked my hair eggplant purple for free since one of their parents owns a beauty salon. whoo~ free bleaching for fanime! XD but yeah, we had a night full of stories, food and sanitary ninjas! lol! i guess being 3 months away from 21 isn't so least i know i have 3 new people to share the clubless sf nights with if i wanted, and that's more than good enough for me. n.n

ended at? - monday 02262001 06:19am :: while? shivering from the cold x.x

it is? wed 02212001 02:05am :: i am? the more i think of you, the more i die...

i like that song way too much. :P anyways. so i had breakfast/lunch/bruch with my brother last weekend. it was cool as usual. talked about the lil stuff. how's life? school? work (ha ha.)? dj-ing? see any good movies lately? yadda yadda yadda. the importants stuff happens after lunch when we're watching the surfers eat it on pleasure point. my bro had been talking to my dad on the phone x amount of days beforehand and evidently, my relationship situation came up. at first, i was like 'oh i'm gonna have my brother on my case about this whole thing too...' ...but it turned out to be the complete opposite. when my dad told him, of course he was surprised but his main concern was what my dad had said to me. he was really worried that the situation had damaged or brought tension between my parents and i. he'd always thought of dad and i being close, and from what he gathered, he thought that i might be hurt by some of things he said but i told him that it was more or less what i expected. it was such a huge relief already to see that he wasn't jumping on me for the whole thing...but he made things even easier when he said that he really supported me in my decision. that i'm his little sister and he'll always look out for me. my brother and i have never really been close. we weren't at each others throats either. well...most of the time. i dunno...i always felt we were kinda polar opposites of each other in more ways than we were similar. but i do remember him being there in pretty extreme times. when my parents first started fighting, after they got seperated, when my mom would get stressed out and snap at me... it was times like those where i was really glad to have a brother like him. i mean, he's always been really cool but those were the times that really mattered and meant something, y'know? i really am lucky. i really don't say this enough to him but...

i love you bran. you're the best brother i could have. thanks. :) *hugs*

ugh...what to do, what to do... i'm still scared. why aren't my feelings enough to say to society 'fuck off. so i like another girl? so what?'. i mean, i hear myself say it but it's not convincing at all. am i contradicting myself by saying that i love her when at the same time i fear that i'm freaking out my parents for no reason? everything just feels so...uncertain. i lack the conviction i usually have in a relationship. i try to see/imagine into the future of us and...i can't. it's like i'm in a tunnel where i can either keep going forward, deeper in or back towards a solid light. i just want something solid to grasp onto...

ended at? wednesday 02212001 2:41am :: while? listening to the perfect drug - nine inch nails... o/~ and i want you... o/~

it is? wed 02142001 04:43am :: i am? picking up the keyboard once again...

man...long break from my last entry. i dunno, i just really haven't felt the need to really express anything. it was either just 'eh' or the same crud over and over again, y'know? so it's valentine's day, and my valentine is a good 9hr drive away. ;.; rrgh...i feel so bad that i made a big deal about asking what she wanted then i couldn't get anything because i'm broke. @.@; argh...i need to get a job again. but i'm being so picky about it... i want a job that will pay at least $8, doesn't have a uniform and doesn't require weekends. i don't know why... i think it's because i actually have things i can do on the weekends and what-not other than sit at my computer or make that small jaunt to san jose to pick up manga or whatever. i actually go to parties and clubs now. i feel like i'm only now getting the 'high school' social life i 'should' have had. not that i didn't like my high school years. it was great to hang out with the og sf-gumi and once in a while a couple of people from school. but i wasn't a whole bunch like my bro, who went to clubs and concerts and all that every other weekend. *shrug* oh well, no use fussing over milk that's gone past it's sell by date. n.n; wow...that was quite a tangent. i'm still up at this ridiculous hour because i wanted to upload the new version of my page. geez that was a long hardwon battle. i'm so terrible when it comes to frames. n.n; i think i should take an actual course for html no matter how easy everyone says it is. but yeah, i'm uberly proud of it. n.n *yawn* i've actually started reading again. sure it's a 'kid' book but gosh darnit, i like harry potter books. when i asked a friend what he thought the big deal about them was, he replied 'it's like reading roald dahl meets merlin'. i think he was spot on...i feel like i'm reading james and the giant peach all over again, except with 'real' magic, not just some magic pills. i think it's safe to say i'm addicted to them yeah. =P mmmm...i don't know what to do concerning a new friend... he's such a nice guy and i'm flattered that he likes me but...i already have someone. and i've told him that on more than one occasion but he still seems persistant. n.n; then again, i have yet to tell him it's a girl...but i just don't know what to expect. i mean outside of a circle of friends, i don't feel like it's something i can just blurt out. i mean, look at what happened with my mom and dad. i dunno...just another one of those weird things i and others will have to get over eventually, should things keep going as they are. anyhow, i shall sleep. see you when inspiration hits once again.

ended at? wednesday 02142001 5:00am :: while? listening to armin van buuren - boundaries of imagination

it is? saturday 01032001 05:59am :: i am? purely partied! =D

omfg this was such a great night... it started out -all wrong- and just somehow did a complete 180 and was just awesome! i mean, it was like so~ ick in the beginning. we didn't have an address or directions to the party, friends ended up not coming (which is cool, not blaming you guys n.n *hugs*), i didn't eat anything until like 6 or something, etc etc. but as soon as the party gets going, it's was just uber-genki! i -finally- met more people from ilr and actually feel like i can hold conversations with them. after like 3 different missed occasions of being social with the ilr group, we finally hit paydirt. i must have met -at least- 10-15 new people and got re-introduced to a couple others. and man...did i ever dance my ass off! i mean, the music was alright, mainly hard trance/nrg but it really didn't matter too much. it just...finally felt like i 'belonged' to the ilr norcal family. i dunno...after all the crap that's kinda been coming my way lately, i think whoever is in charge of the my fate...decided to let me have this night. i really do...because as i was driving home, i saw a shooting star. call me superstitious or whatever...but i just feel like someone had a hand in this night. n.n whoever they are...thanks. *the -nod-* n.-

ended at? saturday 01032001 6:14am :: while? praying that i don't feel -too- sore when i wake up. aiya~... n.n;