pure snow pure heart ano hi
mou sukoshi no yuuki ga areba
samui kisetsu no seito
tobikonde iketa hazu
demo nazeka dekinakatta

pure snow pure heart kimi to
naitari shita koto mo kuyamanai
wakari kitta tsuyogari
kizuite kureru koto wo
itsu made mo matteru

- me, a name i call myself -

who? alana(lohalani) renee salom

when? may 31st

where? midcoast california

what? pinay (filipino), hawaiian, spanish

age? 20 (but I have the mentality of an 18 year old still)

job? officially, price spice or whatever the heck they want me to do @ office max. eww! nothing like that you pervert! *smack*

free time? making bad webpages, dj-ing badly, watching anime and/or movies, dee dee are, raves, chatting on irc/efnet and aim

form of caffeine? mountain dew, red bull + sobe power = taurcrack

v.i.p? my kirei, Val of course n.n

- currently obsessed... -

anime? love hina, gate keepers, trigun

manga? love hina, angel sanctuary, flame of recca

movie? fight club, human traffic, charlie's angels (grrlz r00l j00!)

game? dance dance revolution (any mix), bust a move 2 - dance summit 2000, love hina dreamcast

3d bishounen? takeshi kaneshiro, alex to, roy cheung

2d bishounen? aogiri yuuhi (ayashi no ceres), xelloss metallium (slayers next/try), shinomori aoshi (rurouni kenshin)

3d grrlz? natalie portman, helen hunt, meg ryan, kelly chen

2d grrlz? konno mitsune (love hina), kaolla suu (love hina), mad hatter (angel sanctuary)

djs? john digweed, ferry corsten, donald glaude, dave ralph

trance? heaven scent - bedrock, sandstorm - darude, skydive - freefall/jan johnston

other music? 12 volt sex, bowling for soup, no doubt, hamasaki ayumi, sakamoto maaya/kanno yoko

clothing? kik wear/girl, caffeine, old navy, hot topic, gap, mr. rags

coplay possibilities? kaolla suu (love hina), mad hatter (angel sanctuary), hikura kazuhi (megami kouhosei)

- other (in)sanities -

mayoi omoi - michi my oneesama who is usually subject to my whining/ranting

copacetic - emi ms. yaoi no miko herself

illegible scribbles - steph my partner in mahou shoujo obsession crime

nonsequitor thoughts - tanzy she has a real name...we chose to ignore it for the most part

basic black - puuie umm...look out, she bites?

ecchibi - kristi the snoozing lump on the floor in the yaoi room at acen

mental static - juri the famous photographer who captured the essence of the psycho bunny killer

thea - thea whose new place i still need to visit

ecchi pitas - yuuhi my favorite toy for h-gnawing

fudo muyo - dom one of the new additions to my 'must torture' list

- i want to get off this ride -

hinata sou




connection lost

easily distracted



fushigi yuugi


"Life is kinda like a snowglobe... Everything is fine and at peace inside of one... until some friggin' shmuck comes along and shakes it all up! ...but in the end, everything turns out to be even more beautiful than before..."
- hi-mi-tsu!

- archive -

12032K >> 12092K
it is? friday 12222000 11:03pm :: i am? woman, hear me roa~r! >D

okay yeah so i went and what women want like a good chick should. = what i don't get is, if this is supposed to be a 'chick flick' did they show trailers for the tomb raider movie and the mummy returns? hopeless romantics are generally not the target audience of such movies but oh well...they both looked fairly cool in their own ways. i'm not really much of a tomb raider fan so i probably won't see it unless someone else is paying. n.n; i have to admit that it looked like it was gonna be pretty action packed and angelina jolie seemed to fit the part. as for the mummy returns, i'm sorry, i love the first one as cheesy as it might have been. i know it's no indiana jones but that's like half the fun. there's no way brendan fraiser could ever fill in harrison ford's shoes but hey...if they're gonna make a campy movie, might as well go the full 9 eh? n.n and besides, it actually looked like it was gonna be more action based rather than humor/silliness based compared to the first. chicks fighting with sais! hell yeah! and it ain't even mortal kombat! *chuckle* but anyways, getting onto the serious stuff (however short i'll be able to keep up the serious bit. n.n;), i usually come out of romantic comedy movies all fuzzly and stuff. even if i'm not with anyone at the moment. i don't know exactly where i'm trying to take this or even if i'm trying to make any point at all so i'm just gonna let my mind ramble for a while until i find some kinda purpose to this topic. but yeah...i dunno, i love watching 'couple' movies, but the funny thing is, there's hardly ever been a time where i've gone to see them as a couple with someone. @.@; usually it's either friends or family. it kinda sucks. during like all the romantic parts, all i could think was 'geez i wish val was here' and the like. i dunno...i think it's kinda connected to what i ranted about yesterday. i have this picture of what i wish val and i were like...and then i have the actual picture of what val and i are like and...they're fairly different. n.n; i guess it comes back to the whole 'i'm used to being the spoiled and loved one' thing. i'll admit that a lot of the times, i didn't fully appreciate the affections past boyfriends gave me...i think i'm kinda paying for it now. n.n; i love the whole 'what comes around, goes around' deal. x.x ugh...i'm so anxious about new years, in both senses of the word. i just really feel like this'll be a key (turning) point in our relationship. i can hardly believe that we been together for about 7 months, consider out of all that time, we've probably actually seen each other for 2-3 months if you added all the days together. i guess it does make a difference as to how we are with each other. although, i'd like to think that stuff like that wouldn't matter. which i don't think it does. i know val has certain issues about such stuff and so i try my best not to make a big deal about it but...well, i guess -try- would be the key word in that. ugh...whatevers. time to sleep. val, if you read this ummm...i dunno, take it as you will. just know that all the same...i still do love you very much. *hugs* you really are important and precious to me even though i'm not always great at showing and expressing that. *snugs* hope to talk to you tomorrow or something. sweet dreams about not breaking into warehouses and such shenmue related things. n.n and aniki, read the blog, *hugs* ganbare~. nantoka naru yo. g'nite!

ended at? friday 122200 11:34pm :: while? listening to kill city by hybrid...but think of lyrics from til i hear it from you by gin blossoms.

o/~ i don't want to take advice from fools...i just figure everything is cool...until i hear it from you... o/~

it is? thursday 12212000 11:17pm :: i am? countdown...

hmmm...countdown to a couple of things i suppose. christmas, new years, seeing val. all things important. mmm...i'm starting to think again... ba~d. n.n; earlier in the evening, i was talking to a friend about val and i. basically the issue of my parents not being aware of the relationship at all (or if they are, they sure aren't letting it be known. o.o;) came up. my whole feeling on the issue is, half of me is thinking 'oh yeah...they'd lo~ve to hear this...then they'd probably spend an hour or 5 pounding me with the Bible ._.' and the other half is 'it really sucks to feel like i should/have to hide what i think of as an important part of my life.' mmr~ph...i dunno, my family seems more or less, very anti-same sex but not to the point of hate.'s not something they'd like to have around them if they could help it. or at least so i think. i could be totally wrong since i've never really talked to any of them about the subject. in addition, i'm also wary of telling them because well...i'm not really sure how far this'll go. i mean, i hope it lasts for a while. i really haven't been this happy with someone in a while. *sigh* i guess i still can't help but wonder if i really make her just as happy. mmmm...i wish i could believe that i do make her happy all the time. i'm such a paranoid person. n.n; i guess most of all, i just wish i knew how she felt about me. i think that's what trips me out the most. i've gotten so used to knowing off from the bat how somewhat felt about me, and usually i was being the one loved more. *sigh* isn't it great when the tables are turned? n.n; oh well, i'm not stressing that much over it. i know a few people think i'm insane for stick with her for so long but...she's worth it to me. not to say that i don't have a breaking point but i'm nowhere really near it. *shrug* i dunno...i think the coming of the new year will be the beginning of a change.

ended at? friday 1222200 12:00am :: while? watching boys be - episode 12, new years episode. ha ha. n.n;

o/~ mata ashita wa chigau kaze...fuite kuru yo...yotte o hirogeta mune ni...kanjiru mama...namida osoi kakatte mou...semetate demo...watashi...tachi wa daijoubu... o/~ - daijoubu // boys be op

it is? tuesday 12192000 12:58am :: i am? tired but genki n.n

well, not to much to really rant about today except for my fun tour de santa cruz looking for some place to eat that's open past 9. n.n; first, we wanted seafood. i guess santa cruz has a thing about restaurants serving seafood after like 8 or so because they were all closed. o.o second, okay, being the j-ho's that we are, sushi. it's not quite seafood but it's close! -.-; next, thai anyone? sure! if -that- was open. ummm...crepes! yeah, the open light is on false advertising! bastards! i got the bottom of my passanger side door scrunched for nothing!! aaaaaaaaaah!!! *cough*ahem* so we end up in the american institution of eateries... denny's. but as usual, we can make anything fun, even grocery shopping b-day party items we'll have to smuggle into a karaoke room! don't ask. it was good though. even though originally this was supposed to be a kinda offical talk-talk thing...we ended up talking about anything -but- what we planned to. but that's me and my friends, and we love it. at least when we're not driving each other insane. it was a good night though. managed to pull of a good transition after an hour of 'practice' and get to talk to my close friends and kirei. n.n ureshii~!

ended at? tuesday 12202000 01:10am :: while? trying to multitask doing this, talking to my kirei and ignoring my need to sleep n.n;;

(p.s. - here's val's much more |337 version of my sig. sugee~!)

it is? monday 12182000 01:36am :: i am? miscellaneous o.o

nothing really big to rant about so i'll just list little things that are floating around in the swamp of my mind.

a) i hate realplayer. Or at least realjukebox. it never fails to crash my computer when i'm in the middle of writing a long something. thus i exorcised it from my computer...and it was good.

2) i got a spiffy early xmas present. my aniki, slated/robin gave me turntables. arimasu ka? arimasu! *.* domo aniki~! *snugs* now...who wants to buy me a $100 needle or take me on a vinyl shopping spree? o.o;;

x) i finally played more of the love hina dreamcast game today. so far, i'm doing extremely well with naru and am failing miserably at the characters i like the most in the series (mitsune, suu, motoko). that's just wei~rd. n.n;

69) oh oh! i didn't do an entry yesterday because i was working on this...

not exactly picasso or anything but it's the best i could manage. kirei~...hurry and show me how to make photoshop my bitch! i sux0rz at using it still. ;.;

q) ummm...being broke sucks. o.o i can't wait to get paid at the end of this week. i muchly need it. unfortunately, most of it is going to go immediately to my car payments, which i've been late with the past couple of months. bad arana *gnaws on herself non-ecchily*

) oh yeah, i'm back on speaking terms with my mom finally, which i'm happy about. it really would've sucked to have that go through to xmas and what not. kaa-chan, dai~suki!

) okay, i think i should sleep now. g'nite. o.o va~l, wherever you are, i love you and good ni~ght. sweet dreams my kirei. n.n *curls up with you*

ended at? monday 12182000 01:44am :: while? listening to the trip - sash from his life goes on album o/~ takes me away~... o/~

it is? saturday 12162000 12:41am :: i am? fantasized *.*

it really is the simple things in life that make it good. ever since i came back from the symphony, i've been listening to a lot more classical than usual (not to say that trance/house doesn't monopolize most of the time but... n.n;) thus when my eyes fell upon first the fantasia 2000 dvd, then the fantasia dvd anthology (which comes with fantasia, fantasia 2000 and fantasia legacy)...instant shimmers~! ***.*** i dunno...i -love- disney stuff, beauty and the beast still being my favorite to this day but the fantasia's never cease to amaze me. with the exception of igor stravinsky's 'the rite of spring' (the one with dinosaurs), which i'm sorry...i would fast forward thru when it was rereleased on vhs for the 50th anniversary. n.n;; it's just one of the most astonishing combonations of music and art i've witnessed in my life time. it's really amazing to see how things have progressed within a lifetime. with everything really. art, music, technology, lifestyle. when my parents were kids, where i grew up was cherry orchards. when i was a kid (physically, not mentally...cuz i never really advanced much from the latter. = ), there were a few computer companies and suburbs. now it's almost run over by the dot commers and 2 bedroom condos with washer, dryer, dishwasher and free dsl. it's almost overwhelming when you really sit down to think about it. but anyways, getting back to fantasia, yeah...i love the imagery the animators chose for the pieces. even the simple use of various lighting techniques to simple flying colors and shapes for bach's 'toccata and fugue in d minor'. music is such an inspirational can easily be used to change a feeling or create a mood. mmm...i can't or don't even want to imagine a world without music. it'd be like not having a soul almost. either way, i hope disney doesn't make us wait too long for another fantasia feature to come out. i'd love to have another one in the near future to be even more blown away (because i dunno...emperor's new groove kinda scares me. o.o;;) on a completely different subject, mom is now giving me the silent treatment, which i guess i deserve... =/ oh well, i guess as usual, things will smooth out eventually. and oneesama, i'll try to ask about the house thing when uhh...yeah my mom feels like talking to me again. n.n; cuz i don't think i'd be able to get back to the valley any other way. @.@; and as for b, he fortunately has not been back to channel since that night so i have yet to trip off of that until our paths cross again. =P oh...and watch out... i'm going to j-towne maybe on sunday and guess what shirt i'll end up buying... >D kekekekekeke~!

ended at? saturday 12162000 :: while? watching dancing shrooms! whoo hoo~! i love the nutcracker suite. n.n;

p.s. - val, if you happen to read this when you get back from concert, sorry i didn't come home in time to talk and didn't stay on long enough to say good night. *snugs* love ya kirei. n.n

it is? thursday 12142000 01:08am :: i am? feeling like an @$$hole ._.

rrrgh...okay, someone please back me up on this one... you ever been having a fairly good, kick back kind of day...then your parental unit comes along and harps on you about money, bills you need to pay, etc.? and then you turn into this bitter, cranky psycho? well, it happens to me. i dunno, i just hate being question about stuff like that. i hate money in general. it really does a good job of corrupting people because of the idea we need it. argh...basically, early today, i asked my mom if she had stamps, to which she answered no, then followed up with questions of bill i needed to pay and some money i owed to her and another member of the house. 1) i needed the stamps so that i could send off the checks for said bills and 2) i originally gave them checks for both debts. the problem is, they waited like weeks before they actually went to cash them, and i'm sorry...if a week goes by and there's money in the account, especially around xmas time? fuck, you know that shit is going to disappear! i'm still a 'kid'! i admit to having no concept of the word 'saving' or if i do, i don't apply it to myself. so she states that she doesn't wants checks anymore because those bounced, i say fine and storm out of the house. i get half of the money from my account, sell some of my cds and dvds to get the other half, come back home with friends i saw at streetlight records and throw the money down on the table, saying more or less 'there! happy now?' and attempt to retreat to my room. of course she's annoyed by the fact that i'm annoyed about money i owe them anyways. i straight out say 'look, i -know- that the attitude i'm giving you now is stupid and childish. i know you don't understand why i'm directing it at you.this is why i'm going to my room now so you won't have to deal with it.' she's like 'well if that's the way you're going to act about it, then just take the money back.' to which i respond 'i don't want the stupid money back. just take it, split it between you two however you want and be happy you have it.' after that, i retreated to my room and didn't come back out except to get something to drink or eat for the night. couple of hours later, my friends were able to mellow me out and then i started thinking about the things i said and...fuck, i had been a total asshole about it all. i bitched my mom out for almost no reason other than she was harping me about it, but other than that, there was no real justice behind it all. what the hell am i supposed to do now other than feel like shit? *sigh* i think it's getting that point in my biological clock where i need to -seriously- start thinking of leaving the nest. i love both of my parents even though we been through shit almost my entire life, and even though there were times where i chose one over the other, things have changed and they're both relatively okay. ugh...i dunno. i'm 20, work a crappy retail job, am not enrolled in school, am not tremendously talented at anything. i'm so in a fucking rut right now. i need get off my ass and do something soon before i waste away... i need to find who i want to be.

ended at? thursday 1214200 :: while? listening to the gentle hum of my navi *whirrrrrrr*

it is? wednesday 12132000 01:15am :: i am? irritated as FUCK >/

** warning - this entry will contain illegal amounts of bitching, cussing and all out raging. you have been warned. **

urgh...i consider myself to be a fairly easy going, forgiving, all around nice individual... which is why it takes quite a bit of twisting the knife on the buttons to get me riled up. i try not to get pissed. i try very hard. i make enough bad decisions when i'm calm and i don't need to make worse ones when i'm pissed. because i'm just all bitter and on the edge of violence at that point. for those who like/tolerate the individual i'm going to be ragging on from this point on, know that i'm not trying to start anything. these are feelings that i, and i alone, have towards them, and recently, they've pissed me off all too often that i need to VENT or i will EXPLODE. bran. oh my fucking gulay. i cannot STAND it anymore. his childish needs to 'fit in', be part of the 'in crowd' and dump on anyone who doesn't fit into the criteria of said crowd drives me insane to the point where i want to take a 9 iron to inanimate objects, like bran's wooden head! his inability to just...converse on a normal level is just ridiculous! with him it's either 'my way' or 'why the fuck am i wasting my precious time and energy on you, you opinionated fuck who dares to disagree with me'? and the fact that most of his opinions are extremely poor based on 2nd hand info/opinions just makes it all the more infuriating. jeezus chrysler, if you're going to be an asshole, at least do it on your own terms, not on some half assed assumption that you'll have the same feelings on stuff as someone who told you about it from their point of view. 'crackin' dj music sucks compared to iidx. so and so said so.' okay fine, you don't like the music. or rather, your friends who's ass you're sucking upon don't like it, thus god forbid you should. get a pair man! at least wait til you play the game for yourself before you bag on it. i love bemani just as much as i did when i first started playing but won't be the only one i'll love forever. besides, i'm sorry but i think crackin' dj will be so much more of a challenge since it is the closest thing to actual djing that i have seen come out. but that's my opinion based upon being a dj in training who has yet to try the game herself as well. and as for bagging on ddr just because you like paraparaparadise kind of lame shit is that? bust a move/groove is how old but i still love it even though i play ddr because it started me out on the whole music game thing. you don't shit on a game that started it all for you. you just don't. you can say it may not compare to the new but don't bury it 6 feet under just because of that. that's just bullshit. and then to dump on ddr music just because it's not of a genre you like or is rave related, then start dumping on raves. i have gone over and over this subject before with many people, including bran. out of all of them, the only ones who felt it necessary to degrade every single thing that i loved about the raving scene, was and is bran. whatever, i've bitched enough about this. all i have left to say is, i have my opinions, other have theirs. it's what makes us ourselves as individuals. but i try not to insult or belittle those opinions especially if they are ones of friends. who knows, maybe i'm no longer considered a friend in bran's eyes. maybe i'm just some high school flunky, who's not doing anything with her life and is corrupted by the evilness of raves...but even if i am those things, i'm not about to kneel down and suck on his tinkly dinky to make him feel like 'the man', when he's nowhere near being worthy of that title. wise up bran. whether you know it or not, the people who you used to called friends and vice versa, are one by one turning their backs on you. and eventually, the ones you have now will probably turn their backs on you as well when they finally see your true colors. talk all you the end, no one will probably be there to listen.

ended at? wednesday 12132000 01:59am :: while? trying to mellow myself out listening to dj tiesto - live at energy 2000

it is? monday 12112000 07:10pm :: i am? nostalgiac great grandmother passed away last week and i just came back from the funeral/burial a while ago. urgh~. it was freezing throughout the day but at least it didn't rain 'til later. i dunno...i'm not really the type that cries a lot at funerals. i guess my whole take on death is, yes that person is no longer here with us here on earth but hopefully, where ever they may be now, whether it's heaven or whatever, they're happy. i don't know if i really believe in heaven or reincarnation or whatever...i just hope this isn't it y'know? i mean, sure, life can be crappy as fuck sometimes but there's still so much it has to offer. i'm only 20 and i still have a lot of time but there's no way i can do it all. blah, i dunno. who cares for now? n.n; it was really nice to see my family though. damn almost all the 'kids' looked different. it's been a while, about a year or so, since i've seen any of them but almost can't refer to us as 'kids' anymore. it's like we went from teenage mutant ninja turtle lovin', bubble gum chewin', rambunctious kids to (young) adults overnight...although some maturity levels still haven't changed. ;P i miss meeting up with the family... it's gotten to that point where i have trouble remembering names, who's kid is who's and you're 1st? 2nd cousin? derr derr... oh well, i got a couple of their numbers now and we all drive so hopefully that'll change. n.n bwahahahahaha~! especially since a lot of them play dee dee are~! they like freaked out when i told them i could pass maniac level stuff. = and then when i started talking more about video games and some anime stuff, one of my cousins was like 'dude, if you weren't my relative, i'd so date you!' gaaa~h! this seems to be a reoccuring theme! i know like a good amount of girls that play video games and all that but for some reason, i'm the one that gets snagged. @.@; it's just weird! when i ask people i've gotten involved with what they found interesting about me first, it's -always- that! gaaah! n.n; oh well, that was a lovely tangent. err...lesee, oh yeah, kozmik massive, the party. i guess i had a pretty good time. i hadn't really started talking on the message board at all beforehand so i didn't know anyone except for the people i came with. it was still cool though, the djs even though they spun mostly hard house/trance, they were -hella- good. i fuckin' bow down to their skilz. which i proved more or less that i had none because like i said, robin and i were supposed to tag-team but robin was exhausted from lack of sleep and i was overwhelmed by the much newer and bad ass set up they had, that we didn't. =/ i'm kinda relieved but disappointed at the same time about that. i mean, it probably would've been a great way to kinda...initiate myself into the irl crew y'know? oh well, they're gonna throw another party soon so maybe we'll make up for it then. must remember...NO TAURCRACK THE NIGHT BEFORE. x.x that's all for now, gotta take a shower to attempt to warm up. it's FREEZING and RAINING! >.<

ended at? 12112000 07:44pm :: while? stripping to take that shower...NOT! ;P