cleaning down memory lane

yeah yeah, i'm wondering why i'm not asleep yet either. i don't know why but i actually clean a lot better when it's late at night/early in the morning. guess it's that idea of like i need to finish before i sleep or something.

but anyways, as i was cleaning/arranging, i came across all of my 5 yearbooks from school. that's right 5. i dunno, i guess i can kind of see my parents reasoning behind not buying me a yearbook every year of my school life because well elementary school, i pretty much stayed with the people i met in the beginning for 6 years. no real need to get one until the end i suppose. junior high was a surprise because i actually got one for both years, then again, i still believe that junior high school were the best time i've had within my school participating life. i know for a lot of people, they say it's all about high school but i remember a lot more moments of happiness in junior high. of course running away from home, then having to move during high school might've been a pretty big damper on my enjoyment of my high school years.

pretty much, i got to stay with the friends and people i knew (some even back from elementary) for a year when i was a freshman, then i got sick of the way my mom was treating me and tried to take matters into my own hands. the result of that was me going to live with my dad, then eventually moving to mountain view. i remember the debate of whether i wanted to go to mountain view or los altos high school since i lived right on the borderline of the districts. i knew pretty much only 1 or 2 people at both schools through whatever means, but knew my friend at LAHS much better so i ended up going there. as i was looking through my yearbook, i realized that even though i went to that school for 3 years, i really never made as many friends as i had had in my old town. the closests friends i had were probably all from the filipino dance class, past that, just about everyone else were acquaintences. and to make things even stranger, two people i knew from LAHS are dead. it's been 3 years since i left and 2 people have died. i read some of the signatures from my yearbook, and of course, some of them say KIT/keep in touch. i don't think i've kept in touch with -any- of those people and vice versa. hell, i don't even really know where my friends from my old town are at this point. i can drive through the town and still remember where people lived, where we hung out and all, but where are they now? i wish i knew. i love the friends i have now but i would love to be able to talk to some of my old friends too. friends that were there for me during some very hard times. last comment before i close these thoughts for the night. in my senior yearbook, there's no picture of me anywhere...does that make it all the easier for people to forget me?

[ paw printed @ Saturday, November 24, 2001 06:15 a.m. ]

The ingenuity that comes with boredom

*** warning: the following was born of plain boredom ***

wouldn't it be great if they crossed over Battle Royale and Marmalade Boy? i think that'd be damn funny and entertaining. i shared the (crazy) idea with a couple of people and here's the cast we came up with so far:

Nanahara Shuya - Matsuura Yuu
Nakagawa Noriko - Koishikawa Miki
Kitano - Momoi Ryoko (wouldn't you want to kill off your students if you lost your guy to one?)
Kawada Shogo - Kijima Takuji
Kiriyama Kazuo - Michael Grant
Souma Mitsuko - Jinny Golding
Mimura - Miwa Satoshi
Eto Megumi - Akizuki Meiko
Sugimura Hiroki - Suou Ginta
Chigusa Takako - Suzuki Arimi
Niida Kazushi - Rokutanda Tsutomu
Utsumi Yukie - Kitahara Anju
Training Video Chick - Sakuma Suzu

yes, i thought about this way too much. then again, i tend to do that a lot. hell that's why i ended up actually writing a chapter of a Fushigi Yuugi fic based on Coming to America. i think i watch way to many movies and come up with stupid/scary/crazy ideas when boredom plagues me. oh well, i tried to at least make the idea sound somewhat reasonable. n.n; ugh, i think i should sleep.

[ paw printed @ Saturday, November 24, 2001 02:18 a.m. ]

late night ramblings

wa~rk. another long weekend come and gone. well, more than that if you're going by entries (or lack thereof). eh, one thing at a time i suppose. still haven't found a job or a tech school but i am planning to work on that asap. ugh, i absolutely HATE not having a car. i know i shouldn't but it's so frustrating not having that instant gratification feel of being able to go where i want when i want. i can more or less make my own schedule rather than making my schedule to suit that of a bus schedule or whatever. need job. need car back. borrowing my grandmother's cadillac cutlass all the time just does not cut it. -.-;

the weekend went more or less without any troubles. was able to pick up both Val and Alice, get a ride to and from S+D, etc. etc. back to not having a car, I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE I MISSED OUT ON SASHA AND DIGWEED SPINNING THE ONLY TWO SONGS I WAS DYING TO HEAR THAT NIGHT, XPANDER AND HEAVENSCENT. unfortunately, our ride that night wanted to leave early, which is understanding. if they're not having a good time or whatever, i don't want to force them to stay...but maaaaaaaaaaaaaan... ;.; *insert yet another long stream of explicit lyrics and bitching* *sigh* oh well, i can always pray that they'll come back again. if not, hopefully i'll have saved up some money to see them where ever they may be (IBIZA OR BUST!). other than that, the evening went relatively smooth. i was rather amazed that tanzy was able to attend with us after the whole 'no-ticket-or-ride' thing but we all pulled it off. i'll have to admit, it did feel a lot more crowded at the Pavillion than i expected and really wanted but it was still a really neat venue. i speak the truth when i say/said it feels like i was attending a rave in a hotel lobby. who wouldn't with the nice carpeting, bar, glass elevators and multiple open floors that looked down to the first floor? I mean, there was room and all, just not on the main dance floor, which where i love being, and was for a while and got pretty damn close to the stage when Digweed was spinning. *_* I for the vibe, it was alright. i really felt that people were there to listen to the two djs they love spin...but at the same time, there was an underlying feel of selfishness, like in the wanting to be closest to the stage and just being on the stage overall. it's hard to explain...just little things i suppose. typically at a rave, if you bump into or accidentally elbow someone, they'll take the time before walking on to turn around, smile and apologize. i can't really recall getting any of that that night... i dunno, maybe i'm starting to be a bit jaded overall about large events. n.n; oog. although i didn't get to hear the signature songs, the music still rocked. even jimmy van m, who i'd never heard spin before. gooooooooooooood deep progressive trance and house. yum. must have seconds. *_* i hope that Val and Tanzy had at least a decent time since it was their first rave/club like experience with electronica artists. i think something like Cyberfest might've been a little bit better since it has more clubby music and just...well more music to choose to listen to overall. even Arisu and i were wanting a bit more to select from but i guess that's just more what we're used to really. n.n; oh well, they're still my heroes. now if only Ferry Corsten-sama, Armin Van Buuren and Tiesto were to come here... XD

ugh...i hate dropping Val off at the airport. it just never gets easier. all it means is that i'm back to being all by myself. sure i'm almost always surrounded by friends now that i live back in sunnyvale now but like someone else who's been in the same situation as me said, it's like a stab in the heart when you're driving or sitting in your room, and you turn around and expect that person to be there. or you're about to go to sleep but suddenly the fragrance of that person's shampoo or perfume/cologne still lingers on the sheets or pillowcases. those small reminders that just remind you of how much you want them to be with you or somewhere you know you can reach without too much difficulty. *sigh* i guess the distance makes me appreciate the time we have together a lot, and i probably would go insane if i saw her every waking moment, but when i'm not able to/don't feel free to express those important things with her, urgh...frustration. we really do suck at the whole 'being alone' thing, on many levels. ...i suppose having a door and window in my room to seperate it from the kitchen might've helped but i think there would still be a good amount of paranoia since there'd still be people in the house. mye~h... oh well, no use moping over it anymore than i have already. i know we're both very aware of these issues but we're both too worried for different reasons to even begin to work on them. *sigh* i always like to -talk- big and say that i'll initiate it but in the end, i choke. x.x who knows, maybe with either her coming over for new years or some other trip, we might be able to get over whatever hurdles we've created for ourselves but for now... *mopemopemope* ~_~ rar.

ah well, thanksgiving is upon us and i should sleep so i don't go into a food coma. i might have to ask Steven if i can borrow his bike to workout afterwards so i don't blimp out more than i have already. i'm turning into a slug with all this convenience technology provides for me. x.x I JUST NEED TO KICK MY BUTT INTO GEAR!

[ paw printed @ Wednesday, November 21, 2001 03:10 a.m. ]

you gotta fight for you right to party

much has happened since my last entry so this one will be fairly watered down, unless i feel like going indepth. n.n; in no particular order...

bad news:
- car broke down while driving on 101N to SF
- 95% of the carpet in my house was soaked due to...
- ...the washing machine's rinse sensor breaking, thus 'rinsing' for 4 hours straight...
- had to wear a dress
- still jobless

good news:
- still managed to have an excellent time in SF/Berkeley/Oakland
- fondue was good, a little unsatisfying as a dinner but still yummy n.n
- got spiffy Ogami x Kayama doujinshi that makes Dom cringe, a Sumire pin, a Sango (from Inu Yasha) pin and a Sakura Taisen movie poster from steph! arigato~! *hugs*
- all the utterly ruined carpet was replaced by very cushiony gray carpet i like a lot *.*
- got to visit Pixar Studios to...
- ...see Sen to Chihiro subtitled in their private theatre. Ghibli scores again. n.n
- also got invited to and attended the Pixar premiere of Monsters Inc...
- ...which also had the preview for Star Wars:Episode 2 - Attack of the Clones *.* most people didn't like it but i sure did
- no pictures of myself in said dress (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
- was invited to and attended the Orbital performance @ the Warfield - get to see my beloved in six days, then see her again 11 days after for...
- ...the Sasha + Digweed tour in SF *.*
- just had a really fun night with a load of friends in my new carpeted house. n.n didn't get to game but still followed the ever present tradition of watching anime, playing video games and fooding!

that's more or less the events of the past month or so in a nutshell. orbital was really fun but boo on people thinking they can't dance! dom and mitch! okay, granted at the warfield, there wasn't much room to even just side-step, let alone dance but still. not that i haven't met people who couldn't dance, i have, but that's only because they just really had no sense of rhythm. but i figure if you have the ability to bop your head to the beat, dancing isn't that far away. no one says you have to be John Travolta or Jedi Clan, or at least i don't. hell, i'm satisfied with side stepping! o.o; i really don't think i dance that well myself but i love doing it anyways. i love the feel of the music taking control of my body, following into and through me. the feel of the bass vibrating through me, my feet stomping, my arms waving about. it's something i can so easily lose myself in and totally feel free. i can close my eyes and just let myself drift. of course, not everyone shares those same feelings so i'll understand if someone is cool with just standing or leaning on wall listening...

but don't expect me to give up right away on dragging people onto the dance floor. n.-

although there was some really crappy stuff that happened to me recently, it's nice to know that the people around me are always around to support me one way or another, whether it's just a laugh or helping me out financially. big thanks out to mitch, scott, dom, kyo and my mom. i know i'm not the best at expressing it all the time but i really do appreciate my friends and family, and the amount of tolerance they have for my dumb butt. n.n; lubb0rz j00 guy5!

[ paw printed @ Sunday, October 28, 2001 03:53 p.m. ]

reality is on her way

it's nearly 7pm pst and only 438 people have been announced dead or missing. lord knows about the the other thousands that were in the twin towers and pentagon collectively or the pedestrians nearby. this isn't a war being fought an ocean and so many countries away. it's a single act of sleek, efficient atrocity on the east side of american soil. it's bad enough that so many lives were lost but when they show the footage of the second plane crashing into the building, i feel physically ill. using a bomb is one thing, using an airliner full of innocent people, young, old, middle aged, is just appauling. really, to just sit there and imagine someone that pissed off at the US, Bush, what or whoever just befuddles me. i have no family or friends in NYC or that were flying today that i know of so i'm not really effected by this firsthand but it really doesn't make it any easier to absorb. i just didn't expect that when i woke up to bright sunshine, blue skies, birds singing in my ocean view house, that i'd turn on the tv and be greeted with scenes of america on fire, fed by the bodies of the dead. it make me wonder if i had stayed in the army, could i have done anything since i would have been in military intelligence in the linguistics department.'s just all a big slap in the face that sends you twirling in circles, and when you finally stop, you don't know up from down, what's what and who's who. who's to say it will stop here? who's to say something like that won't happen here or where ever tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. who do we know who is our ally and enemy? here's to paranoia...may our county get back the confidence we had and those responsible for this inhumane act.

[ paw printed @ Tuesday, September 11, 2001 06:54 p.m. ]

o/~ love and marriage... o/~

okay, so i go over the hill today to work on the house since i'll be moving soon. as we're picking up lunch, my mom springs it to me that my brother is getting married sometime next year in hawaii. ...right. in some ways, i guess it's better i found out that way since in all honesty i don't really care for his choice too much but would've been nice to hear it straight from him. either way...i guess i don't really know how to feel about the whole deal. i love my brother and want him to be happy, whatever. it's his decision.

in other news, Noir 0wnz. watch it foo.

[ paw printed @ Wednesday, September 5, 2001 11:38 p.m. ]

this is a test...

no really it is. just checking to see if i actually did everything right for the new layout. mmm...purple and stuff. o.o

[ paw printed @ Tuesday, September 4, 2001 06:44 a.m. ]

Collar Tag

name: Alana

nicks: Kirika (irc) MitsuneK (aim) dj mpu (aim/ilr) Yamino Tsubasa (ao)

free time: Anarachy Online, web design, turntablism, glowstick/string, raves/clubs, tabletop rpg

anime: Noir, Kidou Tenshi Angelic Layer, Fruits Basket, I My Me Strawberry Eggs, Inu Yasha

manga: Love Hina

books: Getting Over It by Anna Maxted

music: Tiesto, Matt Darey, Ferry Corsten, Noir OSTs, Josie and The Pussycats (2001)

sites: (collective) (Love Hina) tell me a fable (fanfic)

Neighborhood Cats

Scratching Post

layout: Catnaps // Erica Fontaine of Sakura Taisen 3

past layouts: Fallen Angel // Takeshi Kaneshiro from Fallen Angels (v2) Pure Snow // Narusegawa Naru and Otohime Mutsumi from Love Hina (v1)

archive: 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1


life is kinda like a snowglobe...
everything is fine and at peace inside of one...
until some friggin' shmuck comes along and shakes it all up! ...
but in the end, everything turns out to be even more beautiful than before...