pure snow pure heart ano hi
mou sukoshi no yuuki ga areba
samui kisetsu no seito
tobikonde iketa hazu
demo nazeka dekinakatta

pure snow pure heart kimi to 
naitari shita koto mo kuyamanai 
wakari kitta tsuyogari 
kizuite kureru koto wo 
itsu made mo matteru

- me, a name i call myself -

who? alana(lohalani) renee salom

when? may 31st 

where? midcoast california

what? pinay (filipino), hawaiian, spanish

age? 20 (but I have the mentality of an 18 year old still)

job? officially, price spice or whatever the heck they want me to do @ office max. eww! nothing like that you pervert! *smack*

free time? making bad webpages, dj-ing badly, watching anime and/or movies, dee dee are, raves, chatting on irc/efnet and aim

form of caffeine? mountain dew, red bull + sobe power = taurcrack

v.i.p? my kirei, Val of course n.n

- currently obsessed... -

anime? love hina, gate keepers, trigun

manga? love hina, angel sanctuary, flame of recca

movie? fight club, human traffic, charlie's angels (grrlz r00l j00!)

game? dance dance revolution (any mix), bust a move 2 - dance summit 2000, love hina dreamcast

3d bishounen? takeshi kaneshiro, alex to, roy cheung

2d bishounen? aogiri yuuhi (ayashi no ceres), xelloss metallium (slayers next/try), shinomori aoshi (rurouni kenshin)

3d grrlz? natalie portman, helen hunt, meg ryan, kelly chen

2d grrlz? konno mitsune (love hina), kaolla suu (love hina), mad hatter (angel sanctuary)

djs? john digweed, ferry corsten, donald glaude, dave ralph

trance? heaven scent - bedrock, sandstorm - darude, skydive - freefall/jan johnston

other music? 12 volt sex, bowling for soup, no doubt, hamasaki ayumi, sakamoto maaya/kanno yoko

clothing? kik wear/girl, caffeine, old navy, hot topic, gap, mr. rags

coplay possibilities? kaolla suu (love hina), mad hatter (angel sanctuary), hikura kazuhi (megami kouhosei) 

- other (in)sanities -

mayoi omoi - michi my oneesama who is usually subject to my whining/ranting

copacetic - emi ms. yaoi no miko herself

illegible scribbles - steph my partner in mahou shoujo obsession crime

nonsequitor thoughts - tanzy she has a real name...we chose to ignore it for the most part 

basic black - puuie umm...look out, she bites?

ecchibi - kristi the snoozing lump on the floor in the yaoi room at acen

mental static - juri the famous photographer who captured the essence of the psycho bunny killer

thea - thea whose new place i still need to visit

ecchi pitas - yuuhi my favorite toy for h-gnawing

fudo muyo - dom one of the new additions to my 'must torture' list

- i want to get off this ride -

hinata sou




connection lost

easily distracted



fushigi yuugi


"Life is kinda like a snowglobe... Everything is fine and at peace inside of one... until some friggin' shmuck comes along and shakes it all up! ...but in the end, everything turns out to be even more beautiful than before..."
- hi-mi-tsu!
it is? saturday 12092000 01:43am :: i am? in love

Val, this one is for you. whether you ever read this or not, know that these are my feelings even if they aren't my words.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error, and upon me prov'd,
I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd.

- Shakespear's Sonnet 116

I love you.

ended at? saturday 12092000 :: while? pondering j-walking through a speeding highway. joudan joudan...

it is? saturday 12092000 12:30am :: i am? all dj'd out @.@

ara maa~...i've been attempting to figure out transitions for a dj set that i'm not even going to perform for the past uhh...many hours and cannot do it anymore. my mind is so ble~h now. @.@ tomorrow, robin has to play this set and i have the feeling since he'll probably think i've been working on it more, than he'll want me to tag-team the set with him. ee~~~k! kowaii~~~! i mean, i know more or less where -i- would make transitions in most of the set but...i just don't know if i could do in front of the crowd y'know? it's not really's more just like the lack of practice to the point of perfection. i've been 'performing' since i was a kid, mainly hula so i'm used to an audience but for those things there was always months and months ahead of time practicing. same for filipino and hip hop/street dancing. bah...where the heck is robin anyways? i don't really know what time he called around but he said he was gonna come back to practice with like an hour or so... it is now- *looks at the clock* -hella past an hour or so. :P bah! he better not come over at some insane hour of the morning tomorrow wanting to practice. >.< either way, i hope the party will be swee~t. first house party for me so hope it to be a good one. n.n plur~!

ended at? saturday 12092000 :: while? listening to morning glory - union jack on the best of platipus - disc one

it is? thursday 12072000 12:30am :: i am? krisko n.n

if you're wondering about 'krisko', you'd have to 'marinate' with my friends in the house of ill-repute with the body bag and food safe to get it. n.- just beware of minidisc players w/ sticker wielding people at the door. n.n; (end fanime memories) (ranting) i'm feeling a lot better compared to this morning. i'll just have to pray to the god of raises that it took effect in this upcoming paycheck and will cover my buttocks. i had to stay behind at work 1½hrs over to help count drawers and wait to be picked up since the parents car is in the shop and still isn't ready. >.< but that's not all that important i suppose. it's strange...i've always been one to want to meet new random people but i think that attending raves has made me want to do so even more. this random guy from socal msg'd me on aim merely wanting to tell me he liked my love hina site but when i ask him if he's a raver (his sn is plur0819, 'plur' being a well-know 'rave term'), i spend the next almost 2 hours talking to him about anime, raves, whatever. we're not like best friends or soulmates of that sort but we have simular interests and such. i dunno, i don't really think of my self as extremely social but i can talk for a really long time if the person is interested it the same stuff i am. acquaintances/friends are alway good things to acquire through different means. anyways, bryan/plur0819 seems to be a fairly cool individual and i hope that one day maybe i'll meet up with him at a rave. i should/could probably introduce him to my friend alice since she doesn't have a lot of people she can go to raves with. anyways, i just thought that was the 'cool thing of the day'. n.n *starts looking at rave events in vegas* tee hee hee~...

ended at? thursday 12072000 1:04am :: while? watching Kundun and chatting with my kirei n.n

it is? wednesday 12062000 11:04am :: i am? irresponsible funk soul brotha =P

mmm...fatboy slim. rrgh...anyhow, i love waking up to the smell of fresh folded...bills. >.< as part of my mentality of an 18 year old, i'm despising my responsibilities as far as money goes. all too many times i let myself buy stuff that i think i should get now because it won't be available later...and it gets me so~ in trouble with my bank. waa~h...where's my raise from office ma~x? T.T i need to cover my ass! not to mention i still have a few xmas presents to get, and still have enough money to make it to vegas and what-not for new years. augh! twinnie! let's go rob a bank for reals! or at least the armored truck that comes to work everyday. =P *sigh* money is such a fun yet corrupting thing. -.- otona ni zettai ni naritakunai! >.< aniki! let's hurry up and move to ibiza~! n.n;; oh and dom, only 5 pages? man...i must be getting soft with all this stress...maybe it would be theraputic for me to torture your soul some more... >) muwahahahahaha~! the only good thing about waking up this morning? finding out that love hina dvd 5 was shipped out. *.* (of course that mean i should also be expecting them to suck money out of my account soon. *sigh* ._.,,,)

ended at? wednesday 12062000 11:19am :: while? listening to jimmy van melleghem spin love song - flunky

it is? tuesday 12052000 11:17pm :: i am? me, i guess. blah. n.n;

i'm not really bleh. i'm just really tired and sore but i'm trying to stay awake long enough to at least say goodnight to Val. i know i know, i'm such a sentimental shmuck but it really does make me happy when she's the last person i talk to at the end of the day, whether it's over the phone or the net. n.n mmm...can't wait for new years... it's only been a lil' over 2 weeks since i last saw her but i have reason for wanting to see her on new years. has a lot to do with her xmas present but i can't say too much because i think she does actually read my entries (yes, all 3 of them! n.n;;). and i still haven't come up with any anime pairing yet! gya~h! kuyashii~! oh well. mmm...on a random note, a couple of days, someone asked me if i think people really do try to 'buy love'. i suppose it does happen although never in front of me. or maybe it does but i write it off as something else. i mean, not everyone has a talent that can be used to make a gift for someone. i know i don't, or if i do, i have yet to discover and perfect it, but until then, yeah, i like to buy the spontaneous gift at times. i actually asked this of myself at one point a couple of months ago...and it was kinda disturbing that i thought i could answer yes to that. who knows? maybe i am trying to 'buy' more affection. i don't think i am though... sometimes i really do just get an urge to get a gift for people because i think it'd be something they like. i truly cherish my relationships with other people considering i didn't really have any until the 6th grade. i was really quiet until then and still am every once in a while (though i'm sure everyone would say 'not often enough' ;P ). i hate being alone. i can handle it alright i guess but i'm definately not happy when i am. it's i hate traffic, and yet when i have a freeway all to myself, i feel so isolated, especially at night. i've driven along the coast of california on hwy 1 a few times in the wee small hours of the morning, and even with genki ddr or awesome trance on, i can't block out that feeling of being alone. i think i'm a lot more insecure than i let people see...i know i can be such a pain for various reasons at times, and i'm scared that i'll be abandonned for those reasons. or the flipside of that, i'll be so paranoid of being left, that i'll find and manifest reasons to give people a reason to leave. ugh...what the heck happened to me not being blah? @.@; like michi, i think thinking and pondering is something better left to others. augh! that was a thought too! @.@;; n.n;;

ended at? tuesday 1205200 11:44pm :: while? listening to Abraxas - Hikari Sasu Niwa from Shoujo Kakumei Utena movie - Adolescence Mokushiroku OST. visit tama-chan's peeji! it r00ls! n.n

P.S. here's a nice sekushii blackmail doujinishi of fudo/dom. take that revolution! >D

it is? monday 12042000 11:54pm :: i am? sleep deprived =.=

*yawn* oog...i'm so tired. i should be sleeping already since i'm a good 5 hours sleep deprived but i didn't get to talk to val much yesterday so i want to kinda make up for it. it's silly really...we never talk about anything of great relationship-like importance but i don't mind. it would be exhausting to be that serious all the time. n.n;; i'm not much of a serious person to being with. i think it's pretty accurate that one of my high school classes 'labeled' me a 7 on the enneagram. the type that either 'charms the snake or walks around it'. anyways, work was more or less the same, traffic pissed me off as much as usual. i don't get santa cruzian drivers. they see a little hill in the freeway and they feel they need to stop and crawl the damn thing...then take off as soon as they pass it. it took me 15 minutes to 'drive' 15-20 feet! it's just ridiculous! the only thing that kept me from ramming into the car in front of me was the repeated playing of the trance song Sandstorm by Darude. it's such a great song. *.* i heard it for the first time at a rave called Cyberfest in fresno spun by paul oakenfold, then again a month or so later on the cd Clubbers Guide to it's being played at every rave in socal (according to a friend). it's so oishii/tasty. *.* if you haven't heard it, i believe there's a sample of it on ministry of sound and satellite records. a~h...i want it on vinyl so ba~d. ;.; oh well...i'm happy with my Heaven Scent - Bedrock record for now. *.* let's see, what else is on the mind...oh yeah, i know a lot of us anime phr34ks out there like to latch onto and compare ourselves to characters of series we enjoy but i was given the challenge of trying to come up with what character i'm paired up with val as. that might no make sense, so an example would be i'm uhh...anthy to her being utena. if that doesn't make sense then just don't think about it. n.n; but anyways, i'm having a hard time actually coming up with something...and it's frustrating in that 'i know what movie/song that line is from' kinda way. @.@; oh well...eventually i'll come up with something i guess. mmm...crackin' dj looks like it's gonna be a kick ass game! and it's not even by konami, who has more or less been hogging the music game genre for the past year since Enix, makers of Bust A Move, didn't come out with anything til recently, which was of course Bust A Move 3 - Dance Summit 2000. i will have that game. oh yes, i will. it lacks my favorite character, Shorty, who i cosplayed on a couple of occasions but is still tons of fun! err...getting back to crackin' dj, i'm sorry...i love bemani but this just looks like it's gonna r00l... it's the closest thing i think one could get to making a realistic game w/o actually putting vinyl out on the console. makes me wish i lived or at least was visiting japan. it's not out yet but they're advertising it up the wazoo. anyways, time to sleep. fun and happy planos to do at work tomorrow. ~.~ one last thing, sorry i didn't say g'nite before you signed off kirei. *snugs* didn't think you'd sleep that early. o.o oh well, get better love. n.n

ended at? tuesday 12052000 12:29am :: while? trying not to pass out on my keyboard. z.z

it is? sunday 12032000 07:33pm :: i am? christmasy o.o

whoo~! i have a christmas tree! it's very pine smelling. *.* i know its the same day and all but i made some small updates to the blog so yeah. o.o; i've been searching for snowglobe images to use but none of them really stuck out to me so i used one of my favorite love hina images. and since that took up a lot more room than original title bar layout, i added more lyrics from Pure Snow. the new lyrics translate to: if only I got more courage that day, with the spririt of winter, I thought I could do it, but why I couldn't say it. i love this song, it's so pretty. *.* if you haven't heard it, do so. right now though, i'm on a trance fix because my aniki is over and is embracing his long lost records. =Ş not that i mind. it's always a good thing to hear heaven scent by john digweed-shama~ and such. *.* hmm...i didn't really accomplish much today. meant to clean my room and possibly wash my car but got hung up working on this blog, entertaining guest and trying not to electrocute myself with the christmas lights. that's usually a bad thing. anyhow...uhh...i ran out of stuff to write about so buh-bye again. n.n;

ended at? sunday 1203200 07:52pm :: while? listening to spiritual light (john '00' flemming mix) - mea culpa

it is? sunday 12032000 03:14am :: i am? confuzzled and tired

well here it is. my blog. whoo. o.o i can tell you now that it probably won't be updated much at all. ma~ybe on a weekly basis if i smack myself every sunday to do so. i dunno, i really don't ever have that much to rant about. wait, that's a lie. i do but i feels kind weird not directing towards someone specifically i guess? whatever. i'm too tired to really care at this point. i'm not used to staying up this late anymore since i work 8-5 shifts usually but i have the energy to do it somehow. it's like when i start cleaning my room at 10pm sometimes and i can't stop until like 2-3am. it's just weird. i'm weird. but yeah. i'm somewhat disturbed by the fact that snowglobe/snow globe is not an actual word. i tried to look it up to have a pretentious title but couldn't find it on either or i figured, it's a pretty well used noun. i don't really think of it as 2 seperate words but i have been proven wrong. now i need to reprogram myself into thinking this after 15 years of believing something else. but i still think it's weird as fuck! oh...sorry for those who though this was gonna be a pg-13ish blog. n.n; oh yeah, if you're wondering what the lyrics which i used to replace my pretentious title are from, they're from Pure Snow by Yuko Sasaki, the opening song of Himikoden. It translates more or less to: "i won't regret having to cry those times obviously i try to look strong, i will always wait for the day you'll understand me." feel free to smack me if that's wrong at all. n.n; yes, all my entries are probably gonna be this one huge, blob of a paragraph because if i were to make a paragraph for each random thought that came to me, it would just take up more room. and it also looks like i'm writing more this way. muwahahaha~. great grandmother passed away last night. the woman is 96 years old. i'm 20. my grandmother passed away in her lat 60s. i have trouble remembering exactly when because i have a tendency to forget 'bad' things even if i don't mean to. anyways, my great grandma died more or less a natural death. she caught pneumonia and unfortunately didn't think anything of it until it was too late. my mom called me 2 hours into my shift at work to tell me she was in the hospital and near death. i got really quiet and kinda choked up until i left work to visit her in the hospital. she was out of it and sleeping for most of the visit until the pain killers they gave her started to wear off, then she started tossing and turning in pain. it was kinda hard to sit there and see that. i don't know how to really feel about it though. yes, she's family and i feel sad but at the same time, i'm numb. i really didn't know her that well because of language barrier. she never learned english after coming here from the philippines and no one ever really sat me down to learn tagalog, so i could never really talk to her. even my mom, who can understand but not speak fluently, told me when she was young and tried to talk to her in tagalog while throwing whatever she didn't know in english, my great grandma would mutter obscenities, not in an insulting way but i guess out of frustration. my mom was telling me all these memories with her. the only memories i really have of her was when she was babysitting me and my cousins and we locked her in the backyard and horrible adolescent stuff like that. n.n; i's just a strange feeling. there's nothing i can really do about it except accept that she lived an extremely long life, never really having that many hardships (that I know of). what else... ah yes, the sf symphony. quite an experience. i will never again wear a skirt to sf at night. it's just too damn cold to do something that foolish. >.< they played beethoven's 6th...and i'm sorry, i kept seeing the images from Fantasia in my mind. @.@; Fantasia was like the first time i had ever heard it and identified it with something okay?! ugh...i still can't believe the guy behind us who was congested and snorted his snot right in the middle of the performace. -.-;; couldn't he have waited for the pause between the movements when everybody else in the audience coughs up a lung? oh well. i also got a confession that night. it was cute. my 'date' took my attachment to Val very well though and agreed on 'friends'. i think things are better that way too. he's a great guy and cool to hang out with but...something tells me it'd never get anywhere past that. n.n; i could be wrong but it doesn't matter. I love Val. she knows it. too bad she's sick with the flu. =( oh well, that's more or less a recap of the past week. back next sunday hopefully for another long winded rant! maybe before then. who knows? o.o;

ended at? sunday 12032000 04:00am :: while? listening to Yakusoku - Yui Horie