OPERATION "trapt - still frame"
HOUR/DATE: 01:50 a.m. Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Please help me ícause Iím breaking down
This pictureís frozen and I canít get out
Please help me ícause Iím breaking down
This pictureís frozen and I canít get out of here

Believe me
Iím just as lost as you
Believe me, yeah
Iím just as lost as you


And every time
I think Iíve finally made it
I learn Iím farther away
Than Iíve ever been before

I see the clock
And itís ticking away
And the hourglass empty
What the fuck do I have to say

Please help me ícause Iím breaking down
This pictureís frozen and I canít get out
Please help me ícause Iím breaking down
This pictureís frozen and I canít get out of here

Believe me
Iím just as lost as you
Believe me, yeah
Iím just as lost as you


Keep it inside
The image portrayed
As if I couldnít stand losing
As if I couldnít be saved, no way

A small confession
I think Iím starting to lose it
I think Iím drifting away
From the people I really need

A small reflection
On when we were younger
We had it all figured
ícause we had everything covered

Now weíre older
Itís getting harder to see
What this future will hold for us
What the fuck are we going to be?

Please help me ícause Iím breaking down
This pictureís frozen and I canít get out
Please help me ícause Iím breaking down
This pictureís frozen and I canít get out of here

Believe me
Iím just as lost as you
Believe me, yeah
Iím just as lost as you


Lost lost lost lost
Lost lost lost lost
I'm just as you
Oh well...
What am I going to do?

Iím afraid Iím falling farther away
I'm falling farther away
I'm falling farther from where I want to be
Iím afraid Iím falling farther away
I'm falling farther away
I'm falling farther away

Please help me ícause Iím breaking down
This pictureís frozen and I canít get out
Please help me ícause Iím breaking down
This pictureís frozen and I canít get out of here

Believe me
Iím just as lost as you
Believe me
Iím just as lost as you


I'm just as lost as you
(I'm breakin' down)
I'm just as lost as you
(I'm breakin' down)


OPERATION "Make the change"
HOUR/DATE: 02:59 a.m. Thursday, February 5, 2004

there are the times when you feel small and insignificant, that your actions are miniscule or selfish. that they only apply so far and are never enough. people have these moments and they judge their own self worth. and usually, they end up throwing themselves into a pit of despair.

then you do one little thing different and you know you've made a difference. you know that it was taken into heart and was truly valued as a noble act of selfless giving. you've changed the way a person has view themselves and how they treat those they thought and do hold close and dear to them.

you do that one thing and you've changed who you are and your opinion of yourself. you suddenly feel that anything is possible and there is true value in who you are and will continue to become. you might even feel whole.

i'm proud and comforted to say that i had such a moment, and may it be imprinted on my and their heart so that they may pass on that feeling to another someday.



man...i sound like the sinfest guy. XD


OPERATION "Arana Outlook 4.0"
HOUR/DATE: 11:47 p.m. Wednesday, February 4, 2004

HASH(0x87fed4c)
What's Your Outlook on Life?

brought to you by Quizilla


OPERATION "since it's that time of the year"
HOUR/DATE: 10:43 a.m. Wednesday, February 4, 2004

The Wild Rose
Random Brutal Love Dreamer (RBLDf)

Colorful, but unpicked. You are The Wild Rose.

Prone to bouts of cynicism, sarcasm, and thorns, you excite a certain kind of man. Hoping to gather you up, he flirts and winks and asks you out, ultimately professing his love. Then you make him bleed. Why? Because you're the rare, independent, self-sufficient kind of woman who does want love, but not from a weakling.

You don't seem to take yourself too seriously, and that's refreshing. You aren't uptight; you don't over-plan. Romance-wise, sex isn't a top priority--a true relationship would be preferable. For your age, you haven't had a lot of bonafide love experience, though, and this kind of gets to core of the issue. You're very selective.

The problem is them, not you, right? You have lofty standards that few measure up to. You're out there all right, but not to be picked up by just anyone.

"You're never truly single as long as you have yourself."
ALWAYS AVOID: The Bachelor

CONSIDER: The Vapor Trail.

Your exact opposite:
The Dirty Little Secret - Deliberate Gentle Sex Master


hmm. hmmm. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. XD the test is here if you want to take it. n.n;

bleh...i'm having a huge stream of bad karma lately. i've had shoddy customers all of last week, then monday i got 'let go' from work because they can't afford to keep me, mapquest directed me to 0 of 3 locations i asked it to get me to and i managed to forget my id in SV when i really needed it in SF... /pif >/

but it wasn't all bad. going to Winter last weekend still managed to be a blast even though we didn't make it to our planned dinner, id's were forgotten or not accepted by security (sorry jahi! T.T) and just FINDING the place made me feel like i was stuck in some weird sequel plotline for Groove. BUT...thankfully after driving back to SV to pick up my id, they hadn't closed the doors so angel and i were allowed in. seeing as how the gathering of mostly RO folks was for his return from boot camp in relatively one piece, that is a good thing.

as for the rave itself, the space was alright. it was about the size of 1015 in comparison. we were kind of bummed since only 1 of the 4 rooms had the snow machine. =/ that and i don't think they ended up using it a great deal. in any case, i didn't spend too much time in that room because it was jungle/hardtrance/house/hhc type room. i stayed in the trance/deep/disco/house room for like 90% of the time, and i missed last call. ~.~; but still had a good time, and i think everyone else did too, barring stomach aches and being tired from work. n.n;

i got there like around...1 and we ended up staying til about 4. after that, we decided to venture over to mel's on van ness, which was closed...then ihop, which was being torn down...then to the other mel's near the ihop because it was actually open. n.n; BS'd and reminisced until about 6 then it was time for all to head on home. i passed out in the back while chris drove everyone home, and i have to say, it was probably the best sleep i had gotten in 2 weeks.

so while i'm having the huge bout of bad karma, i'm not letting it get me down completely. i still have my friends and my good times with them, and that gives me comfort above all. <3 you guys.


OPERATION "be human"
HOUR/DATE: 12:20 a.m. Monday, January 26, 2004

I analyze and I verify and I quantify enough
100 percent so no errors, no miss
I synchronize and I specialize and I classify so much
Don't worry about dreaming because I don't sleep...

I wish I could at least 30 percent
Maybe 50 for pleasure and skip all the rest

If I only was more human
I would count every single second for the rest of my life
If I just could be more human
I'd have so many little babies and maybe a wife

I'd roll around in mud, having lots of fun, then when I was done
Build bubbletop towers and swim in the top
Sand Castles on the beach, frolick in the sea, get a broken knee
Be scared of the dark and then sing out of key

Curse when I lost a fight, kiss and reunite, scratch a spider bite
Be happy with wrinkles I got when I smile
Pet kittens 'till they purr, maybe keep a bird, always keep my word
I'd cry at sad movies and laugh 'till it hurt

I'd buy a big bike and ride by the lake
And I'd have lots of friends and I'd stay out too late

If I could just be more human
I would see every little thing with a gleam in my eye
If only I was more human
I'd embrace every single feeling that came in my life

Would I care and be forgiven?
Would I be sentimental and would I feel loneliness?
Would I doubt and have misgivings?
Would I cross someone's attitude? Would I know what to do?
Will I cry when its all over?

When I die will I see Heaven?


OPERATIVE: Alana S (?)

ALIAS:
Nekotine (IRC)
Nekotine @ Titan (FFXI)
LVL 31 Monk/15 Thief
Windhurst

AGE: 23

OTHER: Metal Monkey / Gemini

COVER: UPS Store peon

BASE: Central Coast / Monterey Bay

MARITAL STATUS: N/A

PRIMARY OBJECTIVE:
To become a dj of local or international fame. Secondary objective, to open a club of her own to encourage others in the same field.

UPCOMING OPERATIONS:
1/31 Winter
3/5-6 AnimeOD
5/28-31 Fanime

RECREATIONAL VIEWINGS
Chrno Crusade
Get Backers
Gunslinger Girl
Haibane Renmei
Juuni Kokki
Maria-sama ga Miteru
Read or Die/Dream TV
Yukitsukai Sugar

COMRADES
Michi
Kyo
Aniki
Kei-chan
Bootsie
Musume / PsychoNeko
Mabiki Kiyone
Sho-sensei

ETC
haibane
snowglobe archives

8-Bit Theatre
Bob and George
Chibi Cheerleaders from Outer Space
Inktank / AT / WW
Girly
Little Gamers
MacHall
MegaTokyo
Okashina Okashi
Penny Arcade
Polymer City Chronicles
Ragnarok
Road Waffles
RPG World
Sexy Losers
Sinfest

happytreefriends
heavy
homestarrunner / SBE

LAYOUT
Originally, I was going to do an Arisugawa Juri layout but then I came across the problem of it being the same color palette as Lazy Daze. Thankfully my sweetie from RO, Sade, came to my rescue and provided me with these loverly screencaps from ep 13 of Full Metal Panic Fumoffu (which really has NOTHING to do with the movie Full Metal Jacket). Hopefully the background doesn't give everyone a splitting headache but i couldn't find a better camo tile. Yurushite kudasai!